I have been a loyal Jim’s customer since arriving in San Antonio 10 years ago. My family and I usually stop by our local Jim’s every weekend for some good food and a relaxing, comfortable atmosphere. We like to eat dinner, drink some coffee and have a few cigarettes.
Since you are now going “smoke-free” we will no longer be visiting your establishment. You have lost my business forever. I will find somewhere else - or stay home and order in from one of your competitors.
I can only hope that all of your former smoking customers do what I am doing. Maybe it will affect your bottom line. Maybe you’ll have to let a couple employees go. Maybe you will go out of business.
Maybe you will bring back a “smoker-friendly” restaurant.
In the meantime - I am taking my money elsewhere. Approximately $5,000 a year that your establishment will not get. $520 a year in tips that your employees will not get. Do the math and do the right thing - Bring back the smoking area.

I can only hope that maybe it will make an impact somewhere. Anyways….from now on, you’ll see me (and my family) at STARBUCKS at an outside table - eating a panini and drinking a coffee………..and smoking a cigarette.

-MacZapIt

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.
“I am,” replied the man, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below responded, “You must be a manager.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist, “how did you know?”
“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

-MacZapIt

www.stygius.net

-MacZapIt

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, ‘OK, take off all your crose.’

The woman did as she was told.

‘Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room.’

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, ‘OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.’

As she did, Dr. Chang shook his head slowly.

‘Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat is why you not haf sex or dates.

The woman asked anxiously, ‘Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?’

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, ‘Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.’

-MacZapIt

9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You’re amazed to find out spam is a food.

6. You “ping” people to see if they’re awake, “finger” them to find out how they are, and “AYT” them to make sure they’re listening to you.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as “my lady@home.wife” and refer to your children as “client applications”.

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as “my domain server”.

2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, “I feel so colon-right parentheses!”

And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

1. Two Words: “Pizza’s Here!”

The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.

The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.
He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, “How much do you make aweek?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, “I take home $400 a week.
Why?”
The CEO handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back!”
Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did around here?”

From across the room came a loud brassy base voice, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

-MacZapIt

www.stygius.net

www.dahaught.net

watch?v=4zK5kjTXg6AYuppie Drone

Old School Music Video

-MacZapIt

www.stygius.net

www.dahaught.net

And that is the reason I own Apples.

-MacZapIt

www.stygius.net